


The Blade

by padalelli



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Blades, Angels, Cas' fading grace, F/M, Fluff, Hunters, Near Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 15:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2434526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padalelli/pseuds/padalelli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't know it. Sam doesn't know it. But Dean knows it. Sam loves you. And only when you're dying does Sam realize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blade

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry it's been so long since I posted, but I hope you'll appreciate this little beauty of work.

"She's been hunting with us for almost three years now, Sammy. There's no shame in the fact that you like her," Dean lectured Sam.  
"Dean, how many times do I have to tell you, I don't like her like that. I feel the same way about her as you do: like she's my little sister," Sam replied. And at the time, he thought he was telling the truth. But Dean knew Sam better than Sam knew himself. And Dean knew Sam was in love with you. Sam just didn't know it yet.  
"Fine, Sammy. Have it your way," Dean said. He got up from the table and left the library, finding his way back to his room. As he came down the hallway, you emerged from your room. "Oh, hey, [Y/N]," Dean said upon greeting you.  
"Hey Dean. What's going on?" you asked as you rubbed your eyes.  
"Nothing. Hey, we found a case. Sam's in the library scoping it out before we get going. Wanna come with?" he asked.  
"When would I ever say no to that question?" you replied, smiling. You patted his arm as you walked past him and went to the library, where you found Sam. "Dean told me you found a case," you said, walking up behind him and leaning over his shoulder to look at the computer screen.  
Sam glanced back at you. "Oh, yeah."  
"What is it?" you asked.  
"Angels," he replied.  
"What are they doing this time?" you asked. You guys had to deal with angels a lot lately.  
"Well, they're searching for the door back to Heaven. Which, normally, would be no big deal, but-"  
"But they're taking the lives of innocent humans," you guessed.  
"Yeah," he said. "They think that if they get close enough to the door, God will see them. And if they threaten humans, He'll let them back into Heaven if they let the humans go."  
"But lemme guess, Daddy isn't home so nothing happens and they end up killing the humans?" you said.  
"Yep. But these aren't just average joes they're killing. They're pulling up people who've ever been possessed by a demon, people who are overly religious, people who would say yes to an angel in a heartbeat. They're using people who rely on God in their daily lives," Sam told you.  
"They're getting witnesses aren't they?" you asked. "People who are religious but see their minister get murdered by an angel because God wasn't there. And they rely on those people to lose their faith and tell everyone else to lose their faith. In a last ditch effort that God will notice and come back to renew everyone's faith in Him," you put together the puzzle.  
"And these angels aren't gonna stop," Sam said. "Unless we stop them."  
You nodded. "Let's do this." You went back to your room in the bunker and dug around for the angel blade you had stolen before you first started hunting with the Winchesters. It was almost three years ago. You had saved Sam's ass. And the only reason you'd had to save him was because he was soulless, so he was cocky when he thought his hunt was over. 'His' hunt. The one that he had stolen from you. And then you swooped in at the last minute and kept him from getting killed by a vampire he had missed. 'You owe me one,' you had said. His brother told him you were right. And you'd stuck by their side ever since then. Luckily, shortly after, Sam got his soul back and it became much more pleasant to hunt with them when Sam wasn't a dick. At some point along the way, you'd picked up an angel blade. Which was becoming increasingly handy to have. Until you lost it in your mess of a room.  
You heard a knock on your door. "Please don't come in," you said.  
The Winchester ignored you and came in anyway. "Woah, [Y/N], I had pictured you as more of a neat freak," Dean said. "Comin'?" he asked.  
"I have to find my blade first," you told him.  
"You mean this one?" he held up the stolen stolen blade.  
"Where did you get that?" you asked.  
"I swiped it a while ago. Wanted to see how long it would take you to notice it was gone," he said, handing it back to you. "But I guess now I see why you just thought you lost it."  
"Shut up," you said, putting the blade through one of your belt loops. You gathered a few other things you figured you might need and then shooed Dean out of your room before leaving and closing the door behind you. "Come on, Sam. Research time is over, we're hitting the road," you said. Almost three years with them but you still never called him Sammy. Even though it probably wouldn't bother him if you did.  
He shut the laptop and the three of you went out to the Impala. You hated that your normal seat was in the back, but that's the way it was. You dealt with it because every once in a while you could mess with the boys. So you took your usual seat in the back behind Sam and who should magically appear next to you but Castiel. You jumped, startled. "Jesus! Fuck, Cas, you can't keep doing that to me, you know I never get used to it!" you said angrily. Dean just snickered up front.  
"I apologize, [Y/N]. But I hear you're hunting angels," he said.  
"Yeah, don't get your panties in a wad, Cas, they're killing humans. We have to," you told him.  
"I'm not wearing-" Cas began.  
"It's an expression, Cas," Dean explained.  
"Oh. I see. Well, I wanted to ask if I could be of assistance," Castiel said.  
"I think we have this one handled, Cas. Besides, you have other things to worry about," Sam said.  
"Like your fading grace," you said. "I know you've had nothing to do lately but there's really nothing you can do."  
"I will not take another angel's grace again just so I can live," Cas said.  
"We know, Cas. But we're going to find your grace. Once we finish with these angels, we're going to help you find your grace," Dean said.  
You didn't hear Cas say anything else before he was suddenly gone. You decided to lie across the backseat until you got to a motel in the town you were headed to. It was dark by the time you got there and Sam went to go get coffee while you just stayed in the car while Dean was getting a room. He tapped on the window after completing his task and you got out of the car and went to the room. "Sammy go get coffee?" Dean asked.  
"Yeah," you said, looking around at the room. You had assumed there would be a couch you could sleep on, but there wasn't. Just the two beds. And you weren't going to ask the brothers to share a bed. "Hey, Dean, is it okay if I bunk with you tonight?" you asked. "There's no couch and I don't want to make one of you sleep on the floor." You figured it'd be better to just settle this now and you didn't want to take Sam's bed without asking for permission first. Even though Dean knew Sam would've been fine with it.  
"Yeah, sure," he said without blinking an eye.  
"Thanks," you replied. "I guess we'll get going in the morning?" you asked.  
"Yeah. We all need some shut eye," Dean said as Sam came back with his coffee. "Except for Sam, of course," he said.  
"It's decaf. Want some?" Sam asked.  
Dean shook his head, but you gladly accepted the offer and took a sip of the beverage. "Thanks," you said.  
Sam looked around the same way you did upon entering the room. "I'll sleep on the floor," he said.  
"Don't worry about it," you told him. "You take the bed. Me and Dean are sharing one. It'll be fine. I didn't want you guys to have to sleep on the floor or share. I don't mind, really."  
"Oh, okay," he said. Dean was already settling into the bed you two would share and Sam finished his coffee before claiming his bed. You went into the bathroom and took off your clothes and put on an oversized t-shirt you had stolen from Sam one day while doing the boys' laundry. It went halfway down your thighs on you. When you came out of the bathroom, the lights were already out, but neither of the boys were snoring yet. You crawled into the empty space in bed Dean had left for you and went to sleep. The three of you thankfully got almost a normal amount of that lately.  
*//*  
Sam was the first one to wake up the next morning. When he sat up and looked over at the other bed, he was shocked to see Dean and [Y/N]... spooning? Yeah, no, they were definitely spooning. But from the looks of it, [Y/N] had been sleeping on her side and Dean had rolled over and pulled her into the embrace. His arm was wrapped tightly around her waist and his head was nestled in her shoulder, but she was oblivious to the position in her unconsciousness. Sam was confused at first, but then a pang of jealousy hit him. He was... sort of angry at Dean for cuddling her against her will. And it was more than just an overprotective brotherly feeling. But he didn't know that. He left it alone and went into the bathroom to take a shower.  
*//*  
You were the next one to wake up. Dean's arms were wrapped tightly around you and you weren't awake enough to wrestle out of them. You patted his forearm. "Dean," you mumbled, still half-asleep. "Dean," you repeated, this time louder, but your voice hoarse.  
"Hmm," was his response.  
"Don't make me punch you, Dean," you said, fully awake now.  
He pulled you in closer for a brief moment before releasing you and rolling over onto his back, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry," he groaned as he woke up.  
You got up and knocked on the bathroom door. "Sam, you almost done?" You'd heard the shower running.  
"Yeah, just a sec," was his muffled response.  
He came out with just a towel around his waist and his clothes in his hand. You didn't seem to notice his half-nudity and you just muttered, "Thanks," before going into the bathroom and locking the door behind you. Three years of hunting with the boys and you had gotten used to seeing them walk around half-naked. That didn't mean you didn't appreciate it, you just didn't make a big deal out of it.  
About halfway through your shower, you heard a knock on the door. "[Y/N], I gotta piss," Dean said.  
"Piss in the sink, or in a bush. I don't care," you responded.  
"Just let me in," he said.  
"I'm washing my hair and the door is locked, I'm not gonna get out right this second to let you in so you can piss. Do it somewhere else," you told him. You heard a faint chuckling coming from outside the bathroom. "I'll be nice and finish my shower quickly if you think you can hold it for ninety seconds," you said. You quickly finished washing and rinsing your hair, soaped yourself down and rinsed off, turned the water off, grabbed a towel off the rack, wrapped it around yourself, hopped out, and opened the door for Dean. All within ninety seconds.  
"Thanks," he said before closing the bathroom door behind him.  
You realized you hadn't taken the time to dry off and your clothes were still in the bathroom. So you were sopping wet with a towel around you and a Sam in the room. "Do you mind?" you asked quietly, smiling gently at Sam. He shook his head and turned around to face the wall as you quickly dried off your arms and legs before Dean came back out. You wrapped your towel back around yourself once you were adequately dry and you grabbed your day clothes from off the chair by the kitchen table. Dean came out of the bathroom and you went back in, drying the rest of yourself off and changing into your clothes. You then dried off your hair with your towel and finger-combed it so it didn't look terrible, still slightly damp.  
Dean had decided he didn't need to shower because his hair was short enough that its cleanliness was negligible and he'd only get bloody today. The three of you grabbed a quick breakfast from the Burger King across the street and began the search for the angels.  
After three churches with no luck, you finally found them in the cemetery of the next church you tried. Dean drove past casually and then parked in the lot where they couldn't see. There were about six angels. Only three of you. You pulled your angel blade out and got out of the car. Dean went inside to see if there was anyone in the church while you and Sam crept around the building. "You can't take on those angels yourself," Sam whispered.  
"Don't have to. I just have to kill one and give you their blade. Then we can kill the rest together," you said.  
"How are you going to kill one when there will be five others that can kill you first?" he asked.  
You turned around to look at him. "That's why I'm counting on you to protect me," you said, smiling. "Plus, soon, Dean will be back out and he can help us."  
You had gotten close enough to hear the angels trying to speak to God. You took a quick glance and saw that they had two people with blades at their throats. The humans were crying, begging God for safety. But to no avail. You decided if you waited any longer they'd be dead, so you ran over and stabbed one of the angels with its back turned on you. He glowed and fell to the ground. Dean came running and grabbed the human the angel had been holding, taking them back inside somewhere they'd be safe for now. Sam came running and grabbed the blade belonging to the angel you killed and stabbed a second one. There were four left. They remained still though, staring at you. "What have you done," a female angel asked. "He's going to come back!" she yelled.  
Dean rejoined you. "Sweetheart, God is gone. How many people have you killed? Have any of them made Him come back?" The angel remained silent. "Because He isn't coming back!" Dean yelled. The angel yelled in frustration and ran towards Dean. Dean momentarily hindered her with a punch while Sam threw a blade to him, where Dean finished the job. Three angels left. One ran towards each of you. The second human ran into the church. Your angel tackled you to the ground and your blade slipped out of your hands. Sam took your blade and wrestled with his, getting in a good fight before killing the angel. Dean stabbed his without hesitation. As the brothers were dealing with the angels attacking them, the one that had tackled you and pinned you began talking to you. You ignored his words as you wrestled against him.  
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. After Dean stabbed the angel that attacked him, he yelled, "Sammy!"  
Sam finished off his angel and turned his head to you as Dean began running over to you. Sam got up and shoved the angel off of you, but not before the angel stabbed you in the side with his blade. Half a second later, Sam was crouched over you while Dean killed the angel that had stabbed you, the last one.  
You choked for breath. "[Y/N], stay with me," Sam said. "CAS!" he yelled. Sam cradled you in his arms. You couldn't muster the strength to say anything.  
As Sam repeated your name and told you to stay with him and keep your eyes open, Dean prayed for Castiel. "I know you're weak, Cas, and this is asking a lot, but we need you. You have to save [Y/N], she's fading, fast," he said. And it was true.  
All you heard before you blacked out was Sam saying, "I love you, I love you, [Y/N], I love you." Over and over again.  
*//*  
When [Y/N] had lost the strength to keep her eyes open, Sam fell apart. He pulled her close to him and cried into her shoulder, his hands bloody from trying to stop the bleeding.  
Dean heard Sam scream, "No!" And he stood up and looked over at them. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. [Y/N] had been his little sister and now she was gone. Tears fell from his eyes, but he never started to cry. Not the way Sam did. Sam's lips trembled and he rocked back and forth as if [Y/N] were a baby and he was trying to get her to sleep.  
Sam reopened his eyes when he heard the flapping of wings and sensed the presence of another angel.  
*//*  
You woke up back in your bedroom at the bunker, a pain in your side. You looked down at your torso and it was wrapped up in an Ace bandage, but you figured it was a good sign that it hadn't been bled through. You heard soft voices speaking just outside your door. "I closed her wound before she could lose any more blood, but I'm afraid I wasn't able to heal it completely. She still lost about three pints of blood, and there will be a scar from the wound. But I can assure you, she will wake up," Castiel said before leaving.  
"See, Sammy," Dean said. "She'll wake up. She'll be fine."  
"Yeah," Sam said doubtfully.  
"I heard what you said," Dean said after a silent pause.  
"What?" Sam asked.  
"I heard you telling her you loved her before she passed out." Sam sighed. "It's okay," Dean said. "I'm not going to make fun of you for it. I just think you shouldn't have waited until she was dying to say it."  
"I didn't know I loved her until I saw her dying, Dean," Sam said.  
"Funny how things work out sometimes," Dean said. You heard his footsteps fade away.  
You were trying to sit up when the pain in your side shot up your spine and you yelped from the pain. Sam heard you and opened your door. "You're awake," he said, smiling.  
"Yeah," you said, pain seeping into your voice.  
"Try not to move. You aren't completely better," Sam told you as he came to your bedside.  
"Yeah, I gathered that," you said.  
Sam handed you a glass of water, which you gladly took and slowly drank. "What all do you remember?" he asked, pulling up the chair from your desk to sit in.  
You sighed. "The last thing I remember was you telling me to stay awake and that everything would be okay." You paused. "Then after that, right as I was blacking out, you kept telling me... you kept saying you loved me." He looked down. "Do you?" you asked.  
"I do," he said, still looking down.  
"Sam," you said firmly. His head snapped up. "Do you love me?" you asked.  
"I do, [Y/N]. I love you so much," he said, his voice cracking at the end.  
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" you asked.  
"Because I didn't see it. I didn't see it until I realized I'd have to live without you and that life would suck," he said. But you knew that wasn't it. So you waited for him to finish. "That life would suck because we wouldn't be together. I wouldn't have you to swoop in and save my ass, I wouldn't have you to work cases with and fight off monsters, I wouldn't have you to offer to sleep on the floor for, I wouldn't have you to save. And I can't live like that. I needed you more than I realized before that blade went into you." Tears came to your eyes. "Do you love me?" Sam asked.  
And you hadn't realized it until just then, but you did. You did love him. "I love you, Sammy," you said. He leaned over you and kissed your lips gently. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, but you knew how much pain it would cause you, so you just let him hold you as you kissed.  
It made you thankful to the angel who stabbed you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! Comments and suggestions are welcome!


End file.
